Political Extremist, Religious Zealots, Murder, And International Parental Child Abduction

There is a significant and growing side of international parental child abduction that makes me shudder at the very notion of kidnapping I am too familiar with: the alarming act of cross-border parental child kidnappings committed by political extremist and religious zealots.

It has taken a while for society to grasp the notion that when one parent illegally removes a child from the child's country of habitual residency, this is a cruel criminal act of kidnapping.  And the abducted child is not simply with one of their parents, but instead, is a hostage held by an abductor who generally does not have the child's best interest in mind.

Tragically, and most alarming is the reality that children of abduction are being put into extrarordinarily dangerous situations.

Previously, I have shared the reality that felicide - child murder by a parent - along with suicide amongst child abduction victims is a real issue.

So where does the use of a child come into play amongst political exremeist, social revolutionaries, and religious zealots?

What I am about to share should not be classified as a rare occurance. They are not.

Let this image sit with you for a moment: a young girl is internationally kidnapped by one of her parents: a parent who possesses extreme religious beliefs that all things born from the West are evil, including his daughter.  In that parent's religious zealot fever, he thinks that the only way to have penance is to do the unthinkable. Meanwhile, the young girl's mother, frantic at knowing the truth of the monster who took their child, along with knowledge of his intent, seeks any way to rescue a child now taken to a world where women have no rights, and foreign women have even less.

But here is an innocent child now delegated to becoming a sacrafice.

Welcome to the unforgiveable world of international parental child abduction.

Now imagine a young boy abducted to the nation, if you can call it that, in the midst of a bloody civil war in impoverished Africa. The child was taken by his mother, who left him behind, as a bargaining chip in the conflict between two of that nation's leading militant tribes. As bombs exploded and casualties rose, the child is taught to think that his left-behind parent not only did not love him and that he was an evil man; while the brainwashing ordeal unfolded, war's bloodshed continued to fall.  And for the father who searched, he knew that returning back to the country his child was held hostage could lead to his immediate death, and further harm to his family that remained in his country of origin.

So here is another innocent child delegated to becoming a pawn in a nation's civil war.

Welcome to the brutal world of international parental child abduction.

A young child just learning how to ride a bicycle is snatched from a Norman Rockwellesque mid-America town and taken to a nation of zealot fundementalist revolutionaries who preach intolerance for the West.  The child is taught to hate the peaceful world he was taken from.  Gone is the loving, peaceful, and gentle world he was born and raised in. In its place is a world filled with daily bombings and gunfights, violent protests that lead to deadly stampedes, and an unforgiveable God (the God the kidnapper teaches his child is not a loving God, nor does it represent the kind God taught in Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faiths).  As this child lives an inprisoned life terrified by everything around him, his left behind parent knows that entering the world of the brutal abductor in order to find her child if caught means entering a world so brutal, that your imagination's notion of brutal punishment and torture, simply could not conjure the realities that would await her if caught.

Sadly, another defenseless child inprisoned into the worst of nightmares. Except it is his reality.

Welcome to the world where the God worshipped is a God filled with hatred.

And do not think that a child is not at risk of death. They are.

Perhaps this reality is the one singular thing that drives all child abduction prevention advocates the most: the hope to prevent the death of a child either at the hands of their parent abductor, or at their own hands later in life due to the brutal psychological trauma they endured during the time of their abduction.  I know my own activism in this arena is greatly due to my desire to help protect children from all forms of harm.

As you can see, the common denominator in the scenarios I presented above is that the child was used as a pawn to advance the abductor's own agenda.

This is something that occurs in every international parental child abduction case.

For the taken child, they are indeed brought into a harsh world that emotionally and spiritually resembles the lonely, wind swept barrier prison known as Alcatraz.  Short-term and long-term trauma is real. So too are the challenges the majority of children face going forward.

One of the things that appears to not have been spoken about in the dialogue concerning international parental child abduction is the general view by the abducting parent that life in the country of the child's habiutal residency is one that they often dislike, or in some cases, despise.

In these types of situations, the abductor's (who is nearly always a foreign born national living in another country) resentment toward most things in the country they are residing in prior to the act of kidnapping grows significantly.

Eventually, some of these parents sermonize their view to the child: preaching - and brainwashing - their views to a child is a necessity for all abductors since they need to justify the act of kidnapping to the child under the guise of 'liberation'.

And extreme cases of 'liberators' does exist, creating a potentially greater danger to society than what anyone is talking about.

The question needs to be asked: What are the long-term social risks if a zealot abductor kidnaps a child born in the West, removes that child to a nation of political and religious extremism which the abductor is an active part of, and who evangelizes the messages of hatred and intolerance toward the child's country of previous habitual residency to the point that the child buys into the parent abductor's surmons as 'liberator' that is preached in order to justify the international abduction?

Well, we have a potentially serious problem on our hands.

Make no mistake, all forms of international parental child abduction are severe forms of child abuse.  Under no circumstance should child abduction be tolerated.  Fortunately, this notion is beginning to take hold by society due to the stewardship of the realities of abduction by concerned parents and advocates alike.

In fact, by raising awareness of international parental child abduction the cross-border kidnapping rate has declined in the United States by 15% per year for two years in a row, after nearly thirty years of steady growth.

So our voices are making a difference in the United States.  And unquestionably, the United States Department of States' Office of Childrens Issues has to be given a great deal of credit in their outreach efforts attempting to increase the threat of abduction amongst targeted parents.

Nevertheless, our children remain at great risk. For example, imagine being a mother who living in the United States trying to prevent your daughters from being abducted to Saudi Arabia - a nation where women have essentially no rights. Or a father trying to find your child is Japan or South Korea - nations known to not return abducted children. The realities and hard-truths are disheartening: between the reported and unreported cases on international parental child abduction, it is estimated that only 10% of all kidnapped children ever come home.

In ending this article I would like to share this message: as the summer approaches, now is the time that would-be abductors are planning their scheme to illegally snatch their child.  Raising awareness of the risk factors and knowing the warning signs of abduction are so important.  Parents involved in multi-cultural relationships are particularly at risk of abduction.  The last thing any parent wants to do is find themselves Chasing The Cyclone of abduction.  The best defense against abduction is to educate yourself.

One final note: as the Founding Director of the I CARE Foundation, I am pleased to share with you that the children I mentioned above in the examples I provided are all now at safely home.  Since inception, the I CARE Foundation has assisted a large and growing number of children and their families at risk of abduction. Our work continues.

Click here to read more about The I CARE Foundation.
Click here to read more about Chasing The Cyclone.
Click here to visit the official website of Peter Thomas Senese. 

Spring - International Parental Child Abduction Plans Underway

The SPRING Season Is The Time Of Year When International Parental Child Abductions Are Planned.  Parents in Multi-National Relationships That Are Facing Difficulty Should Be Very Concerned About The Reality of International Child Abduction.

I wish I could say that the number of successful international parental child abductions (IPCA) worldwide is unilaterally declining, but that is not the case.  However, there is promising news to share: the reported cases of IPCA in the United States has dropped by over 15% per year for two years in a row after sustained 30 year growth (Please read the report). 

This said, I am writing to offer an important reminder that the summer months and school vacations are the primary time of year when children from all around the world are targets for IPCA.  Critically, it is important to remember that the vast majority of IPCA cases are well planned, filled with clever schemes and chicanary, and attempt to through the targeted parent off-guard so that they would not suspect that a planned kidnapping is underway or has occurred until their child is gone. 

Remember, now is the time that parents intending to illegally remove their children from the child's country of habitual residency begin planning their scheme.  

Before I go further, I think it is necessary to point out that the majority of IPCA cases occur in cross-cultural relationships, whereas one parent is born or has close connections to another country other than the country their child was raised in.  Of course, IPCA does not only occur in multi-national relationships; however, it appears that when multi-national relationships fail that have a child attached to it, there exists a higher possibility of IPCA.

There are in fact many signs and signals that can provide you with insight that your spouse or former spouse is intending to abduct with your child. 

Most of all, trust your instincts. If you have reason to believe that your spouse is in the process or is contemplating the abduction of your child, you must not wait: contact your local police and a lawyer familiar with family law and custody matters. 

You may need to file an ex parte (an Emergency without notice filing) motion to the court of jurisdiction where the child lives, seeking court intervention prior to when the abduction or wrongful retention occurs.  Under most laws, the judge will have to hear your application so long as you present enough strong and credible evidence that your spouse or ex spouse is planning to take your child across state or international borders.

The most obvious warning sign is if the other parent communicates in any way that they have intent or a desire to remove the child of the relationship out of the country. In most instances, if the other parent threatens you with the idea that they are going to abduct your child, the fact is that in most cases, the abduction is already planned and may be in progress. You must act!

Peter Thomas Senese's Critically Acclaimed CHASING THE CYCLONE 100% Of Royalties Donated To The I CARE Foundation 

In addition, there has been a new, frightening trend that is causing incredible harm to targeted parents of abduction: the use of false criminal complaints against a targeted parent by a taking parent so that the parent intending to abduct a child can have their target arrested, typically for domestic abuse.  In these growing schemes, the parent intending to illegally remove the child will typically make a false police report on a Friday afternoon, with the hope and expectation that the child's other parent will be arrested and detained throughout the weekend. While that parent is held, the abductor will then leave the country without incident.  And outlandishly, they will portray themselves as liberators fleeing a violent abuser, when in fact, the entire scheme was a lie.  Unfortunately, it is a clever lie because the abductor  has set up an abduction defense under Article 13 of the Hague Convention if in fact the nation they were abducting to was a signatory member of the convention. 

Now, I can't say this enough: the early spring is teh time of year when abduction schemes are planned. Be very mindful that the other parent's full intent is to have you drop down your guard: in order for them to be successful, they must trick you into thinking everything is going well in your relationship. So, for example if you are in a relationship that has been consistently strained, and all of a sudden the child's other parent begins to put some 'curious' effort into making things work - and they soon suggest traveling to their home country with your child during the summer - be extremely concerned that a planned abduciton is well under way. 

Here are a few more things to be very mindful of - and don't take them for granted!

1.       Be aware of the possibility of any abduction. Although there are no foolproof warning signs for abduction risk, some indicators should not be ignored. Do not stick your head in the sand and pretend that your child is not at risk. Awareness of IPCA is critical.

2.       The vast majority of international child abductions occur by a parent who is determined to cause hardship and harm to the other parent. The instrument that they use in order to cause this harm is the child or children of the marriage. A significant number of leading therapist from around the world have stated in numerous reports that revenge is the primary and leading reason why one parent will try to end the other parent’s relationship with their own child. Therefore, if you are involved with a person who has jealous or revengeful tendencies, you must be aware that these characteristics are common in the vast majority of would-be parental child abductors.

3.       If the issues raised in Section 2 are true in your situation and your spouse or former spouse has in the past used the child of your marriage or relationship to cause you harm, pain, and suffering, or, has tried to control and manipulate your actions, then your concern should be magnified ten-fold. If the same individual has family members in another country or has lived in another country and has expressed a desire or threat to move there with your child, your concern should be magnified one-hundred fold.

4.       If there is evidence of previous abductions, disappearances, or threats to abduct the child by your spouse or ex-spouse, these indicators demonstrate that any new abduction threat is real and in more likelihood already planned.

5.       If your spouse or ex-spouse has citizenship in another country and strong emotional or cultural ties to their country of origin.

6.     Unexplainable removal of cash deposits and diminished assets, or unexplainable increases in credit card or bank debt.

7.       Concealment of new credit cards or bank debt.

8.    Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with individuals or family members living in a foreign country.

9.     Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with a lawyer.

10.    Frequent previous trips with child to a foreign country without other parent.

11.    Family and friends living in a foreign country.

12.    No strong ties to a child's home state.

13.    Strong foreign support network.

14.    No financial reason to stay.

15.    Possible use of the child as a pawn in order to gain access to non-joint assets.

16.    Engaged in planning activities such as quitting job; selling home; terminating lease; closing bank accounts or liquidating assets; hiding or destroying documents; or securing a passport, a birth certificate, or school medical records.

17.    A history of marital instability, lack of cooperation with the other parent, domestic violence, or child abuse.

18.    An announcement of an unexpected trip to another country with the child.

19.    The taking of easily transportable high-valued items such as jewelry upon departing to another country.

20.    Adamant unwillingness to leave the child behind with you while spouse travels to a foreign country.

21.    Shipping of personal items to a foreign country.

22.    A past tendency of your spouse or ex-spouse to relocate and live abroad.

23.    In certain jurisdictions – whereas both parents have a joint-right to custody – it is conceivable that a parent possessing a right of custodial authority over the child (this can be joint or sole custody) can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership to another country for an undetermined period of time (claiming a holiday or short-term trip) without needing permission or actually informing the other parent if a pre-existing travel agreement is not in place already with the court. Essentially, a parent exercising their right of custody over their child can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership without permission from the other parent if a court order is not issued previously. 

Not surprisingly, many international parental child abductions occur when one parent takes the child of the marriage to another country for an alleged short ‘family visit’ – however, in reality that person has no intention of ever returning with the child to the place of habitual residency. What typically happens next in these scenarios is that the abducting parent, unknown to the left behind parent, files for a divorce in the country they have abducted to. 

The divorce motion and affidavit filed makes claim to all sorts of cruel and dangerous behavior against the spouse (thus the reason why they are able to file under an ex parte [without notice] motion). Once the divorce law suit is filed, the abducting parent usually will go underground with the assistance of family and/or friends who usually assisted in the planning of this act. It is critical to note that deception is a critical element in these typical scenarios: the left behind parent is left to believe that their partner and child are on a short vacation (typically to visit family of the partner) at the time of their departure. A few days or weeks later, reality sets in with either a phone call or a letter saying that the partner and child/children are not returning, and that a divorce action has been filed. 

So, even if you think you are happily married, it is greatly advised to have a legally binding and court registered travel agreement in place prior to either parent exercising a right of custody is granted permission to leave the country with your child.

24.    Trust your instincts: if something feels wrong, it probably is. And remember that most international parental child abductions are carefully planned and typically involve the help of others.

25. BEWARE that the other parent may be trying to prepare an Article 13 Defense while remaining in the country prior to an abduction. This may include the other parent filing false police reports or social service reports against you.  

REMEMBER that if the international courts have reason to believe that the return of the chlld may put the child in grave danger, they will not order for a return to the country of origin under Article 13. The use of false reporting right prior to an international child abduction is a strong indicator that an abduction is planned.

26. If a parent living as an alien citizen of one country but has limited roots to that country and is intending to travel with the child abroad, the risks of an abduction are great. MORESO, if the parent who is planning to depart, say on a few week vacation, does not have the ability to purchase a return ticket back to the child's country of origin and/or does not have employment and/or does not have housing, then you can bet that upon departure for the so-called 'vacation', that parent is not returning. 

Remember, Intent and Sustainability issues are critical. If a person can't sustain themselves in the country that their child was born, and, they have no deep roots, why in the world would they want to stay?

28. If an alien-parent has deep connections to another country, and has deep connections to that country's senior government officials, there is a clear risk. Recently, I have been advising on a situation where the potential abductor has immediate family members in charge of overseeing a fleet of aircraft owned by a Middle East family (or you could say government). Obviously, access to aircraft and departing under immunity of a foreign government are very concerning.

Please click here for more information on What To Do If An Abduction Is In Progress.

For more information, please visit the I CARE Foundation. 

Please visit the official website of CHASING THE CYCLONE for one of the most comprehensive websites on IPCA as well as information on Peter Thomas Senese's critically acclaimed novel about a father's love for his child. 

Today's Heroes: The Exemplary Parenting Blog Writer Laura Perkins Taff

There are people in the world that truly make it a better place, and my friend Laura Perkins Taff, happens to be one of those rare, exceptional human beings that gives of herself in a way that truly makes a big difference for others.  Not only has Laura found and shared her voice, but in doing so, she has come to the aid of children with special needs and their families in a very important way.    Humble, giving, caring, and a difference-maker for the community of children she advocates for, Laura Perkins Taff greatly inspires me and many around her.

Unquestionably, Laura exemplifies the best of what it means to be a parent blog writer utilizing social media to help others in need.  It is my honor to share with you my interview with Laura, for she belongs in the circle that is 'Heroes of Today'.

On behalf of the entire family of the I CARE Foundation, I would like to share our deep appreciation to Laura for all of her help advocating awareness of international parental child abduction prevention.  Laura went out of her way to raise awarenss of this challenging issue that destorys families even though this issue was remote to her.  Yet, understanding the challenges innocent children may face, Laura acted. But that is Laura - a compassionate lady who is willing to help.

Perhaps it is best that I get right to Laura's interview because I think what she has to say is incredible.

So it is my privilege to share with you Today's Hero - Laura Perkins Taff - an incredible lady who has exemplifies the incredible capability of a parent blog writer.  More importantly, Laura, by her act, faith, and committment, is the definition of 'good parenting'.



I am very honored to have the privilege of writing about you and the incredible child advocacy work you do, particularly with children with special needs or in crisis.  In fact,  not only have I laughed quite often when I read your parenting website that you cite is about 'A HodgePodge Mom Blog About Life, Parenting, Special Needs Children, Product Reviews and More' because in reality, your wonderful parenting blog is so much more than a 'HodgePodge', it is an extraordinary, informative parenting website with a tremendous purpose, in particular because it also happens to be an incredibly informative sources of information on MECP2 Duplication syndrome and Rett syndrome   Why did you create the Anna and Essie parenting site?



Laura Perkins Taff

Well, first thank you so much for reading. Time is so valuable and it's always an honor to me when people take a moment or two of their time to read anything I have written. It started so simply. I was reading other blogs and enjoying them and I thought to myself, "Hey I could do that!" I started more because I had loved blogs that talked about using coupons and saving money and I was always thrilled when I could actually find free and deeply discounted products. Soon after, it started to hit me that I could use my blog as a voice for something more. 

No one expects to become a special needs parent. You find out you are having a baby and you start to daydream about how life is going to be based on your friends and family who you've seen go through the experience. When it turns out to be different, it's a big shock and a huge adjustment. I dont' always mention having a special needs child right away when I meet people because I want them to see life is still good and worthwhile and happy as a special needs parent. It's a huge part of my life but it doesn't rule my life. Yet, it's still hard. As I began to share my experiences and other parents would find my posts, they could relate to me and they would contact me. It grew and developed from there. 

As a multiple cancer conqueror who was previously diagnosed with nuerofibromatosis, I have a great appreciation for all individuals who elevate awareness of different challenges that life may bring to us, such as the MECP2 Duplication syndrome your beautiful daughter Anna has been diagnosed with. You write extensively about MECP2 Duplication.  Can you explain what this is, and tell us  what organizations are working for a cure?

It's a very complex syndrome that wasn't even discovered until 2005. To put it as simply as possible, the MECP2 gene is located on the x chromosome, and is responsible for creating a protein that is essential for normal brain development.Those who have MECP2 Duplication Syndrome have extra pieces of that gene on the x chromosome. Because it's still so new, experts disagree on whether the entire gene has to be duplicated (or even triplicated) or just parts of it, but Anna has only small parts duplicated. Because it is an x-chromosome disease, it's very very rare for girls to have it because girls have the phenomenon of inheriting two x-chromosomes, one of which will inactivate during fetal development. Usually that causes women to be carriers but not show symptoms, in which case they pass it along to their male children. Males only inherit one x-chromosome from their mom, therefore having the duplication in every cell of their bodies and very severe symptoms of mental retardation, hypotonia, seizures, inability to develop a vocabulary, most are immobile, and incur repeated cases of pneumonia. Life expectancy is a very short 21 years. With the very few girls that show symptoms it's not as severe because they do typically have some normal x chromosomes active in their bodies. We have seen some girls with the same severe symptoms as the boys due to the fact that the duplication trans-located to another chromosome which is located in every cell of the body.

Currrently, the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston Texas is conducting basic science research and clinical research in hopes for a cure. There are a few organizations that have formed for MECP2 awareness, but all of their proceeds go to Baylor, so I direct everyone I can straight to Baylor to cut out the "middle man". There is donation information on my MECP2 page on the blog about how to donate to Baylor.

How has the information you provided helped other parents who are attending to the needs of their children with special needs?

This is an emotional question for me because of the responses I have gotten. Mostly it just gives them hope and encouragement. They see me moving forward and dealing with life as it comes. They also see me break down and get weak at times, but in that we band together to know there's someone else out there going through the same thing we are and it gives us strength. I had one special needs grandmother write to me and tell me she had found my blog and request that I write an email to her daughter who had just found out that the baby had MECP2. I did, and that mom and I have kept in touch since. She has started her own blog to help her have an outlet to reach out to others and vent about the tough days. That's just one example, but it's been so wonderful for me to get a response and know that everything I have gone through is not for nothing. I can reach out a hand when someone needs it and I can get a hand when I need it. 

In looking at the wonderful group of parenting blog writers the I CARE Foundation has worked with over the past year, it seems that one of the most active groups are mom blog writers who are raising a child with special needs.  What have been the benefits of social media and Internet forums for parents who are raising a child with special needs?

Well, social media is just so popular and allows an outreach to so many people. I'd say that's the biggest benefit, just having such a huge audience to get in touch with right from your living-room. Special needs parents have so much to say and share that without social media we wouldn't be able to reach so many people.

Has creating a parenting blog allowed you to share your voice - and your incredible knowledge - on subjects that have benefited others, and if so, how?

Definitely so. Whether someone grabs a recipe, learns tips on what worked for me in potty training, or bonds with me over a bad day I'd say it benefits readers in some way. My most recent example is getting a comment from a reader on a post I wrote about how single dads often make visitation time super-fun and moms are left feeling like the warden who has to enforce all the rules and be a bore. In my experience I learned that dads feel like they need to do that because their time is so limited, and their house isn't home to the kids. (In many cases.) No matter how much fun you have on vacation, you always want to go home. The reader told me she really needed that as she awaited her daughter's return from the "fun house" and she was happy to remember that "there's no place like home". It's such a benefit to me as well. As I mentioned earlier, writing can be such an outlet and way to vent. When someone reads it and tells me that they got something from it, it blesses me doubly!

The Internet has changed the dynamics of not only how we obtain information, but clearly social media has allowed people from all around the world to mobilize. I think of how the Arab Spring swept through many Middle Eastern nations.  How has social media mobilized parents who are raising their children with special needs?

I can tell you in my situation I have heard from parents in the UK and in China who were looking up information on MECP2. It was great to be able to compare notes and see the similarities and differences in our girls. Without social media there wouldn't have been a way to accomplish that. 

I have learned a long time ago that children with special needs are in fact teachers. In fact, I have a little buddy in my life, his name is Connor, who has taught me so much about life.  What are some of the things that Anna has directly or indirectly taught you?

That question brings tears to my eyes. Anna teaches us all so much. I think the first thing she indirectly taught me was that she's happy with her life as long as I am! I used to catch myself looking at children her age and seeing where she would be and what she would be doing if she had developed normally, and it would break me. Anna is such a happy, loving child. She is happy just like she is. There's no reason for me not to be. Directly she teaches us all so much about love and laughter. She becomes so excited over the things she enjoys. Her face lights up and it illuminates the room. We were at a conference one time and as I turned to sit down I found a piece of paper laying in my seat. It was a poem written about Anna from the lady that had been sitting behind us just based on Anna's love for life and her facial expressions. She teaches us to celebrate all the great moments of life! She teaches us how to love deeply. A mouse ran out in our kitchen one day and I screamed! At first she was scared but I calmed her down and helped her understand I had just been startled. She took me by the hand, looked in my face and said, "Don't worry mom, we'll figure this out together." I tell you there's nothing I can't face with her by my side. 

You have demonstrated a great deal of courage in sharing all you do on your website. How has demonstrating courage impacted your life?

Oh thank you. I try to tell other parents dealing with my situation that courage and strength are learned more than something you come equipped with. It's that fight or flight instinct that kicks in. You can't run away from it so you have to fight. You have this situation dumped in your lap and you have to learn to cope. I tell them don't beat yourself up at weak and trying times because we all go through them. Sharing my courage with others just helps me to continue being courageous. 

There was a time when a person staying at home and raising their family may have felt that they lost their voice. Today, the traditional workplace has changed, and with it, social media has changed the way voices are heard. Can you provide some insight on this?

The only thing I can really think to say is what we've touched on already, that we can reach so many people sitting right in our homes. I'm very grateful to social media outlets for that.  

How do you select the topics you write about?

I find subjects based on what I'm doing in my life at the time. Sometimes I get so full of ideas I have to make a list of things I want to write about when I get the chance. My sister and I ate barbecue pork nachos last week and since then I keep thinking I want to do a recipe-post about it and share how my sweet neighbor brought them to me one day and how much I've enjoyed them since. It's written on my chalk-board right now as a reminder.  Moments with Anna just sprout up all the time and sometimes I miss writing about them, but I try to share as much as I can because I know other parents are reading. My youngest daughter Essie provides quite a bit of inspiration as well. 

You have faith in the God you believe in as shared in your writing. Sometimes, God puts us through challenges that we may not necessarily want.  When these challenges come into your life, as they do, other's live, how does your faith guide you?

That is a question I've dealt with since realizing I was a special needs parent. I have to refer to my favorite Bible verse on this one. John 16:33 I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer! I have overcome the world. See, we are not promised that no bad thing will happen to us as believers, but we are asked to take heart and know that God will be with us. I like the version that says, "Be of good cheer" because it reminds me of my cheerful sweet Anna. Sometimes I feel like all I know for sure is GOD IS REAL and GOD IS WITH ME. It keeps me hanging on.

What do you think it means to have 'Courage in Faith?"

That's such a great question because faith takes a lot of courage. People and life can hurt us and it can shake the very foundation of our faith. I think to have courage in faith means to keep daring to believe even when it seems like there's nothing to believe in anymore. When it feels like if we put our hearts on the line to believe that we could get hurt again, and we still keep pressing on...that's courage in faith.

Your daughter Essie likes to have potato sack races with you? Who usually wins?

She wins! She's so full of life and energy and youth and excitement. I wish I could bottle it up and drink it when I need an extra boost. Thank you for asking about Essie as well. I think the Lord made her full of extra-tough stuff because some day she will surpass Anna's development and become the "older" sister even though she's 6 years younger. Her spunk is a lot to keep up with now, but she's a joy and a blessing just like my Anna.

Over the past year, you have played an important role in the I CARE Foundation's educational outreach to help raise awareness of international parental child abduction and trafficking.  Why?

When I became aware of the outreach it was my hearts desire to do whatever I could. As a parent there's nothing scarier than the thought of losing your child. Having this voice and this outreach we've talked about throughout this interview is such a blessing so that I can have some way to lend a hand. I can't imagine why any parent or any person with the ability to raise awareness and help would not do it.

After nearly 30 years of consistent growth in reported cases of child abduction, including recent forecasts that growth would continue by 20% per year, the Department of State reported a 15% decline in the reported abduction rate. During this time, a grassroots campaign was launched that included utilizing the influence of parent blog writers like yourself who wrote about abduction prevention.  How important of a role do you think parent blog writers have on influencing social issues?

Very very important. I think people are just starting to "get" how influential bloggers can be. I'm so very excited to be a part of it all.  

Do you think parent bloggers should dedicate a specific amount of their writings toward discussing social issues?

I hadn't thought about it before you asked me, but yes. I think we have a responsibility to use our influence in a positive ethical way. Anyone with a sense of "power" can abuse it if they are not careful. I'm not sure how much of their writing should be dedicated to discussing social issues but I definitely believe when given a chance to give a positive, informative, helpful message they should. 

Can you name three books that have influenced your life?

Does the Bible count? I can't think of another book that influences my life more than that one. "Every Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge, and "Praying Gods Word" by Beth Moore have influenced me as well. I get inspired by books quite often. I just finished "The Circle Series" by Ted Dekker and found so much inspiration in faith even though it's a work of fiction. I also love the classics. My brother and I used to do a Classics book club. We both found so much to talk about reading, "The Catcher in the Rye" and my personal favorite was, "The Old Man and the Sea". I think those were more inspirational than influential but I definitely love the written word. 

Can you name three things that you are most proud of about your Anna and Essie website?

My number one would have to be that it's a sounding board and a source of hope and inspiration for other special needs parents. It's been a thrill to be able to earn some extra income through the blog which is desperately needed as a single special needs parent. Also, I have been invited several times to appear on television news programs through the blog. These are all things I had no idea would happen when I first started writing. 

What do you enjoy doing outside of raising your beautiful daughters? 

I have quite a few interests actually. I enjoy singing very much, and I'm not too bad at it. I enjoy crafts like painting and sewing. I've become a great cook...and baking is a favorite pastime of mine. Of course I've already mentioned I love reading as well. I'm learning to garden this year, and I have no clue what I'm doing but it's great for for me and the girls. We check the plants each day and go outside together to plan out where we will put them. They help me water the seedlings. It's been a great hobby for us all to develop together. 

(End Interview)

It is my honor and privilege to call Laura my friend. The world, and particularly children in need, are in a better place in many ways not just because of Laura's diret advocacy, but, her advocacy sets an example for others to follow.  By act, Laura demonstrates time-and-time again that each of us has a responsibility to make the world a better place - something she surely does.

To read more about Laura, please visit her delightful parenting website, www.annaandessie.com.

 

Mary Cab Tinitigan: How Parent Blog Writers Are Transforming Social Activism

A year ago, I had contacted Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan, who operate the delightful parenting - family blog site, 'Marvyn and Mary' and sought their assistance in stewarding the I CARE Foundation's message about the pandemic of international parental child abduction so targeted parents may become educated about the realities of abduction. 

Over the year, Mary and Marvyn have been extremely helpful in stewarding the messages of abduction prevention.  Their assistance has made a sizeable difference in the lives of many, including playing a key role in the recovery of an abducted child.  

Specifically, a young girl was internationally parentally abducted from New Jersey. Her abductor had hatched a clever scheme that included use of flights to Florida, boarding a closed circuit cruise ship (a loophole under the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative) that would stop off in Mexico after visiting several ports-of-call in the Caribbean, debarking in Mexico's Cancun, driving to Mexico City, where the abductor would then fly with the kidnapped child to Brazil.  However, the targeted parent, who had remained in New Jersey, unaware of the scheme of her ex-husband, read Marvyn and Mary's various articles about international parental child abduction and the I CARE Foundation's work.  Immediately, an investigation was launched that quickly uncovered the in-action plan.  And with a lot of effort and a great deal of work, the little girl was removed from the cruise ship and returned to her custodial mother.  Should the child's abductor - her non-custodial father - gotten into Mexico, their passage to Brazil would have been clear.  And sadly, the child's return would have been unlikely since Brazil is generally a non-complying signatory nation of the Hague Convention. 

Mary and Marvyn's willingness to get involved and to advocate for others demonstrates not just good citizenship, but undeniably is a demonstrative building block of excellent parenting.  If it was not for their blog writing and willingness to get involved, at least one child's hatched kidnapping would have been carried out. But it was not because a caring, fun, and intelligent couple with a sense of civic responsibility decided to use their voice and make a difference for children and families in crisis.  

I am pleased to share that Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin are Today's Heroes.  They not only represent what can happen when each of us advocates issues that are geared toward enriching the greater good of others. Indeed, they are my heroes because, with nothing to gain other than the knowledge that they might be able to help others, they got involved.  

Outside of their advocacy with the I CARE Foundation, Marvyn and Mary's blog writing is delightful! Writing and posting as a family - which is awesome - the topics they write about and some of the photographs they share speak to readers around the world. 

It is my honor to share with you my interview with Marvyn and Mary: compassionate, kind, thoughtful, and intelligent Heroes of Today who make the world a better place for all of us. When I think of the words 'human connectivity', I think of my dear friends Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin.

Here is my interview:

1. Your parent blog site ‘Marvyn and Mary’ is an absolute celebration of parenting and partnership. How do you and Marvyn collaborate on topics and issues you share with your readers?

We don’t really have a formal collaboration process. Instead we have a general idea of what our readers want and we stay true to that. We’re pretty loosey-goosey in that regard. - Marvyn

2. Why did you decide to create your parenting blog? 

Marvynandmary.com was originally a venue for us to share our wedding information with attendees. After our wedding, it eventually evolved into a blog. Marvyn has the know-how, so why not? - Mary

Eventually we were getting a lot of feedback on our posts of not-so-common products, so we took it from there.  - Marvyn

3. How has your writing and blog impacted others?

I’m hoping it gives the readers a few minutes of smiles and laughter. Everybody wants to see more of Jagger, right? – Marvyn

I am hoping that they find something in our blog that will help them in whatever they are searching for. Whether it’s laughter, wanting to relate to another parent or in need of help, I hope they find that on our site. - Mary

4. Parenting blog writers partially consist of mothers who have dedicated themselves to the incredible fulltime task of raising a family. What are the benefits for a stay-at-home mother or father who is considering creating a blog or using social media to have their voice heard?

Networking. We wouldn’t be having this discussion if it wasn’t for that, you know? - Marvyn

I am no longer a stay-at-home mom but when I was, I used our blog to just write about things that interest me like the I CARE Foundation. I also used it as something that I could take out my frustration on. - Mary

5. What are some of the fun or interesting aspects of being a well-respected parent blog writer?

You can take pictures of anything. When somebody gives you a dirty look, the instant response is “Don’t worry, it’s for my blog!” –Marvyn

That you can say anything you want and not worry about what people think - Mary

6. The way society obtains and shares information has changed dramatically over a short period of time. How important of a role do parent blog writers have in educating other parents about issues that they may face?

It is very important. When we were expecting, we looked to the web to provide us with answers that we needed and we wanted to do the same. Marvyn wanted to start writing reviews on products we bought in hopes that it would help people decide on whether to buy it or not, especially when it came to baby products.  We were constantly on Babies R Us reading reviews so we thought why not write our experience on our blog?

7. Would you say that a mobilized and united parent blog community has the ability of creating trends, swaying policy, and increasing the elevation of topical issues?

Absoulutely! We as parents have a right to raise our voices because we are fighting for our children’s future. People tend to listen more when raising an issue comes from a parent. They know that we just want to do what is right and want to protect our children – Mary

8. On your blog site’s ‘About Us’ section, you post: ‘Let me write something about us. I promise I will make it entertaining. Come back later, okay?’ So, here is your chance: how about three sentences.

1)

2)

3)….come back later okay? ;)

9. Parent blog writer’s social activism is becoming more visible and influential. What responsibilities do parents have, if any, to become vocal with respect to causes or issues that impact society?

I think parents have such a big responsibility in society. After all, we are raising the future of this country. – Mary

10. How have you used your website to help others, particularly children and families in crisis?

I think your feedback is proof. A perfect example of how our website has helped those in need. –Marvyn

11. You have become visible in your advocacy with the I CARE Foundation to help prevent international child abduction and human trafficking. Why is this important?

Because we want to do anything we can to protect the innocent. It is such a cruel world out there and we want those horrible human beings (if we can even call them that)to know that we are out there, fighting you with everything we have to keep our children safe.  

12. Your blog helped prevent an abduction of a young girl taken from the United States to South America. How did you feel knowing that you made a difference for a targeted family? 

We were completely blown away by the news. There were so many thoughts running through our mind. To unknowingly help someone get their daughter back, how do you find the right words to that? We are just so unbelievably happy that the child was returned. We never expected it would be our blog that would be of assistance to something like this. There are so many options when you Google something and the fact that our blog popped up and helped them, it’s just…WOW. It’s an honor really. It gives us comfort in some way that if something like this happens again, our blog and others like ours is able to provide someone with some assistance.  -Mary

13. Can you name three books that have inspired you? 

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. One of my all time favorite book/movie. I was always a believer in fairy tales (I mean, what girl doesn’t right) and that book gave me a hope at a time that I needed it most. Now this book inspired Marvyn too.  We met when I visited my family here in NJ during Christmas break. I was living in California at that time. He found out that my favorite book/movie is The Notebook. When it was time for me to leave, he wrote me this lovely letter that he made me promise not to read until I got on the plane. He pretty much confessed his love for me and that he really wished we could have met in different circumstances because he would have loved to get to know me better. Well, we all know how that turned out. A happy ending for us both =)  

Another one is a book called Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo. I don’t know how much of the story is actually the truth but it gave me such hope that when it is our time, we are really going to be reunited with the people we love up there.  

And lastly, Chasing the Cyclone, written by my wonderful friend, Peter Thomas Senese,  is another one that inspired me. It’s a story about a father’s love, how he would go to hell and back to get his son back. Reading that book, I never imagined it would introduce us to a great cause but also introduced us to a group of amazing people. 

14. What would you tell other parent blogger writers about their role in using their voice to further social causes about children? 

That, believe us, your voice matters. We never knew when we started writing about the I CARE Foundation that our voice would be heard. You always told us, Peter, that our voices are being heard and it is helping, that we are heroes as well. We had a hard time seeing ourselves as heroes just by writing something important. With the news that we helped someone get their daughter back, we still don’t see ourselves as one. It really is all because of you Peter and the I CARE Foundation. You are the hero because with you and the foundation, we never would have had the chance to help give a voice to it. -Mary

15. Jagger seems to always be smiling, and the affection that is shared with him clearly genuine. What are some of the important aspects or techniques of your and Marvyn’s parenting that you would like to share with others? 

We shower Jagger with hugs and kisses every day. We don’t take our time with him for granted. His happiness means the world to us. Some may say he is spoiled but he gets disciplined too when he acts out.  Marvyn has been chatting with one of his aunts who lives in California lately. It’s been a while since they’ve talked. And he’s shown her pictures and one of her comments was the same thing: he is always smiling and looks very happy. I don’t know what we are doing half that time but obviously we are doing something right, right? I guess one thing I can tell parents out there is to not take life so seriously. Look at life through the eyes of your child every now and again. Also, no matter how hard you feel like you have to work so you can buy your child everything they want, remember that all they really want is your time. The material things are not what is important to them. As long as your child is happy and you’re happy, things will work out for the best. -Mary

16. What are three things that you love to do? 

There are just too many to name! This is hard. But I have to choose right? So here it goes: reading, watch basketball with my boys and shopping!

17. I consider you and Marvyn heroes for you acted unselfishly and came to the aid of the I CARE Foundation when we desperately sought assistance from the parent blog writer community to help raise awareness of abduction. You have posted several articles that have made an impact on the lives of others. How important is it for each of us to find our courage and share our voice?

It is so incredibly important to share our voice. You never know who you will reach. Someone out there is searching for something and your blog may just provide the right answer. Never in a million years would I have thought writing about I CARE Foundation would eventually reach that one person who really needed it. -Mary

18. If there is anything you would like readers to know that we have not covered here, what would that be? 

That Marvyn and Jagger have more shoes than me! 

(End Interview)

Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan demonstrate by act that each of our voices really do matter. They have made a resounding impact on others - something I am sure they will continue to do.  Their son Jaggar is very fortuante, for he has two amazing parents that are connected to enriching the human experience by sharing the wonderments of their life.  

Heroes can be defined by individuals chose to act for the greater good of others.  The heroic act is the defining moment, not necessarily the final act, but the willingness to act.  In Maryvn and Mary's case, they have acted to help others, and have made a difference for others.  And that is more than very cool!

I invite you to visit Marvyn and Mary's website.

- Peter Thomas Senese -