Mary Cab Tinitigan: How Parent Blog Writers Are Transforming Social Activism

A year ago, I had contacted Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan, who operate the delightful parenting - family blog site, 'Marvyn and Mary' and sought their assistance in stewarding the I CARE Foundation's message about the pandemic of international parental child abduction so targeted parents may become educated about the realities of abduction. 

Over the year, Mary and Marvyn have been extremely helpful in stewarding the messages of abduction prevention.  Their assistance has made a sizeable difference in the lives of many, including playing a key role in the recovery of an abducted child.  

Specifically, a young girl was internationally parentally abducted from New Jersey. Her abductor had hatched a clever scheme that included use of flights to Florida, boarding a closed circuit cruise ship (a loophole under the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative) that would stop off in Mexico after visiting several ports-of-call in the Caribbean, debarking in Mexico's Cancun, driving to Mexico City, where the abductor would then fly with the kidnapped child to Brazil.  However, the targeted parent, who had remained in New Jersey, unaware of the scheme of her ex-husband, read Marvyn and Mary's various articles about international parental child abduction and the I CARE Foundation's work.  Immediately, an investigation was launched that quickly uncovered the in-action plan.  And with a lot of effort and a great deal of work, the little girl was removed from the cruise ship and returned to her custodial mother.  Should the child's abductor - her non-custodial father - gotten into Mexico, their passage to Brazil would have been clear.  And sadly, the child's return would have been unlikely since Brazil is generally a non-complying signatory nation of the Hague Convention. 

Mary and Marvyn's willingness to get involved and to advocate for others demonstrates not just good citizenship, but undeniably is a demonstrative building block of excellent parenting.  If it was not for their blog writing and willingness to get involved, at least one child's hatched kidnapping would have been carried out. But it was not because a caring, fun, and intelligent couple with a sense of civic responsibility decided to use their voice and make a difference for children and families in crisis.  

I am pleased to share that Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin are Today's Heroes.  They not only represent what can happen when each of us advocates issues that are geared toward enriching the greater good of others. Indeed, they are my heroes because, with nothing to gain other than the knowledge that they might be able to help others, they got involved.  

Outside of their advocacy with the I CARE Foundation, Marvyn and Mary's blog writing is delightful! Writing and posting as a family - which is awesome - the topics they write about and some of the photographs they share speak to readers around the world. 

It is my honor to share with you my interview with Marvyn and Mary: compassionate, kind, thoughtful, and intelligent Heroes of Today who make the world a better place for all of us. When I think of the words 'human connectivity', I think of my dear friends Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin.

Here is my interview:

1. Your parent blog site ‘Marvyn and Mary’ is an absolute celebration of parenting and partnership. How do you and Marvyn collaborate on topics and issues you share with your readers?

We don’t really have a formal collaboration process. Instead we have a general idea of what our readers want and we stay true to that. We’re pretty loosey-goosey in that regard. - Marvyn

2. Why did you decide to create your parenting blog? 

Marvynandmary.com was originally a venue for us to share our wedding information with attendees. After our wedding, it eventually evolved into a blog. Marvyn has the know-how, so why not? - Mary

Eventually we were getting a lot of feedback on our posts of not-so-common products, so we took it from there.  - Marvyn

3. How has your writing and blog impacted others?

I’m hoping it gives the readers a few minutes of smiles and laughter. Everybody wants to see more of Jagger, right? – Marvyn

I am hoping that they find something in our blog that will help them in whatever they are searching for. Whether it’s laughter, wanting to relate to another parent or in need of help, I hope they find that on our site. - Mary

4. Parenting blog writers partially consist of mothers who have dedicated themselves to the incredible fulltime task of raising a family. What are the benefits for a stay-at-home mother or father who is considering creating a blog or using social media to have their voice heard?

Networking. We wouldn’t be having this discussion if it wasn’t for that, you know? - Marvyn

I am no longer a stay-at-home mom but when I was, I used our blog to just write about things that interest me like the I CARE Foundation. I also used it as something that I could take out my frustration on. - Mary

5. What are some of the fun or interesting aspects of being a well-respected parent blog writer?

You can take pictures of anything. When somebody gives you a dirty look, the instant response is “Don’t worry, it’s for my blog!” –Marvyn

That you can say anything you want and not worry about what people think - Mary

6. The way society obtains and shares information has changed dramatically over a short period of time. How important of a role do parent blog writers have in educating other parents about issues that they may face?

It is very important. When we were expecting, we looked to the web to provide us with answers that we needed and we wanted to do the same. Marvyn wanted to start writing reviews on products we bought in hopes that it would help people decide on whether to buy it or not, especially when it came to baby products.  We were constantly on Babies R Us reading reviews so we thought why not write our experience on our blog?

7. Would you say that a mobilized and united parent blog community has the ability of creating trends, swaying policy, and increasing the elevation of topical issues?

Absoulutely! We as parents have a right to raise our voices because we are fighting for our children’s future. People tend to listen more when raising an issue comes from a parent. They know that we just want to do what is right and want to protect our children – Mary

8. On your blog site’s ‘About Us’ section, you post: ‘Let me write something about us. I promise I will make it entertaining. Come back later, okay?’ So, here is your chance: how about three sentences.

1)

2)

3)….come back later okay? ;)

9. Parent blog writer’s social activism is becoming more visible and influential. What responsibilities do parents have, if any, to become vocal with respect to causes or issues that impact society?

I think parents have such a big responsibility in society. After all, we are raising the future of this country. – Mary

10. How have you used your website to help others, particularly children and families in crisis?

I think your feedback is proof. A perfect example of how our website has helped those in need. –Marvyn

11. You have become visible in your advocacy with the I CARE Foundation to help prevent international child abduction and human trafficking. Why is this important?

Because we want to do anything we can to protect the innocent. It is such a cruel world out there and we want those horrible human beings (if we can even call them that)to know that we are out there, fighting you with everything we have to keep our children safe.  

12. Your blog helped prevent an abduction of a young girl taken from the United States to South America. How did you feel knowing that you made a difference for a targeted family? 

We were completely blown away by the news. There were so many thoughts running through our mind. To unknowingly help someone get their daughter back, how do you find the right words to that? We are just so unbelievably happy that the child was returned. We never expected it would be our blog that would be of assistance to something like this. There are so many options when you Google something and the fact that our blog popped up and helped them, it’s just…WOW. It’s an honor really. It gives us comfort in some way that if something like this happens again, our blog and others like ours is able to provide someone with some assistance.  -Mary

13. Can you name three books that have inspired you? 

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. One of my all time favorite book/movie. I was always a believer in fairy tales (I mean, what girl doesn’t right) and that book gave me a hope at a time that I needed it most. Now this book inspired Marvyn too.  We met when I visited my family here in NJ during Christmas break. I was living in California at that time. He found out that my favorite book/movie is The Notebook. When it was time for me to leave, he wrote me this lovely letter that he made me promise not to read until I got on the plane. He pretty much confessed his love for me and that he really wished we could have met in different circumstances because he would have loved to get to know me better. Well, we all know how that turned out. A happy ending for us both =)  

Another one is a book called Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo. I don’t know how much of the story is actually the truth but it gave me such hope that when it is our time, we are really going to be reunited with the people we love up there.  

And lastly, Chasing the Cyclone, written by my wonderful friend, Peter Thomas Senese,  is another one that inspired me. It’s a story about a father’s love, how he would go to hell and back to get his son back. Reading that book, I never imagined it would introduce us to a great cause but also introduced us to a group of amazing people. 

14. What would you tell other parent blogger writers about their role in using their voice to further social causes about children? 

That, believe us, your voice matters. We never knew when we started writing about the I CARE Foundation that our voice would be heard. You always told us, Peter, that our voices are being heard and it is helping, that we are heroes as well. We had a hard time seeing ourselves as heroes just by writing something important. With the news that we helped someone get their daughter back, we still don’t see ourselves as one. It really is all because of you Peter and the I CARE Foundation. You are the hero because with you and the foundation, we never would have had the chance to help give a voice to it. -Mary

15. Jagger seems to always be smiling, and the affection that is shared with him clearly genuine. What are some of the important aspects or techniques of your and Marvyn’s parenting that you would like to share with others? 

We shower Jagger with hugs and kisses every day. We don’t take our time with him for granted. His happiness means the world to us. Some may say he is spoiled but he gets disciplined too when he acts out.  Marvyn has been chatting with one of his aunts who lives in California lately. It’s been a while since they’ve talked. And he’s shown her pictures and one of her comments was the same thing: he is always smiling and looks very happy. I don’t know what we are doing half that time but obviously we are doing something right, right? I guess one thing I can tell parents out there is to not take life so seriously. Look at life through the eyes of your child every now and again. Also, no matter how hard you feel like you have to work so you can buy your child everything they want, remember that all they really want is your time. The material things are not what is important to them. As long as your child is happy and you’re happy, things will work out for the best. -Mary

16. What are three things that you love to do? 

There are just too many to name! This is hard. But I have to choose right? So here it goes: reading, watch basketball with my boys and shopping!

17. I consider you and Marvyn heroes for you acted unselfishly and came to the aid of the I CARE Foundation when we desperately sought assistance from the parent blog writer community to help raise awareness of abduction. You have posted several articles that have made an impact on the lives of others. How important is it for each of us to find our courage and share our voice?

It is so incredibly important to share our voice. You never know who you will reach. Someone out there is searching for something and your blog may just provide the right answer. Never in a million years would I have thought writing about I CARE Foundation would eventually reach that one person who really needed it. -Mary

18. If there is anything you would like readers to know that we have not covered here, what would that be? 

That Marvyn and Jagger have more shoes than me! 

(End Interview)

Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan demonstrate by act that each of our voices really do matter. They have made a resounding impact on others - something I am sure they will continue to do.  Their son Jaggar is very fortuante, for he has two amazing parents that are connected to enriching the human experience by sharing the wonderments of their life.  

Heroes can be defined by individuals chose to act for the greater good of others.  The heroic act is the defining moment, not necessarily the final act, but the willingness to act.  In Maryvn and Mary's case, they have acted to help others, and have made a difference for others.  And that is more than very cool!

I invite you to visit Marvyn and Mary's website.

- Peter Thomas Senese -

Peter Thomas Senese: The I CARE Foundation's 2013 Strategic Goals To Fight Child Abduction

The following itemized list are the priorities of the I CARE Foundation as we continue to play our part protecting children and families from international parental child abduction, international child trafficking, and child slavery.

2012 was a very good year for the I CARE Foundation to build upon.  However, the reality is that the fight we fight is similiar to the biblical story of David vs. Goliath. 

Still, where there are hearts of goodness committed to acts of goodness, anything is possible.  This notion is one we believe and is exemplifed by the many miracles that we created this past year - playing key roles in reuniting many kidnapped children.

But the work we need to do . . . we really do believe that if our legislative policy initiatives are passed, we will cripple the mountain of abduction.

The following are the priorities of the I CARE Foundation's outreach and stewardship:


What Needs To Be Done

 

1. Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction inbound member-state signatories need to adhere to the spirit of the international treaty and act to expeditiously decide on litigation concerning the return of the child. The I CARE Foundation will launch a research study on time-related matters connected to international child abduction and use our findings to educate policymakers and administrators around the world.
2. Courts in signatory member-states must act fairly and without bias so the international treaty is upheld. The I CARE Foundation will launch a research study on bias-related matters connected to international child abduction and use our findings to educate policymakers and administrators around the world
3. Judges in courts all over the world who preside over IPCA cases must be well-trained on all matters of IPCA, including the reality that abduction is a severe and abusive crime against a child that enables an abductor to further abuse a child during the time litigation brought by a targeted parent occurs.  Furthermore, courts and their judges must act to counter-balance any stall tactics implemented by an abductor or their legal counsel as such activity is often implemented to strategically financially break the chasing parent due to the extreme cost chasing parents face when trying to reunite with their kidnapped child. Of course, the courts must enforce the universally recognized notion amongst signatory nations that IPCA is extreme abuse, and extreme abuse is not in the best interest of any child. The I CARE Foundation will release our research study on court-education and judge competancy connected to international child abduction and use our findings to educate policymakers and administrators around the world
4. Sanctions by Hague member-nations against non-complying Hague member-nations must simply not be discussed but enacted. The collateral damage of innocent children in lieu of other foreign policy issues should not be acceptable under any circumstance.  The I CARE Foundation will seek to educate lawmakers in the United States about the costs related to collatreal damage, while also creating a grass-roots educational awarenss campaign stating that collateral damage of children due to policy initiatives is not acceptable, particularly when we're talking about over 100,000 American children's lives over the next 10 year.
5. The I CARE Foundation will participate in the production of the upcoming feature documentary film, '150,000 Internationally Kidnapped Children'.
6. New state and federal laws (in Canada, provincial and national laws) geared toward child abduction and child trafficking must be created and upheld by both law enforcement and courts.  This includes the I CARE Foundation's initiatives to have the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative modifed, and, to create a Secondary Prevent Departure Program.  It is the belief of the I CARE Foundation that such initiatives will put a significant stop-gap in abduction.
7. In the United States, the Senate passed SR 543, which resolved that the American government and all agencies charged with a role in preventing or reuniting internationally kidnapped children use all legal remedies available to them under law to help children, including consideration of criminal prosecution of abductors and those who have aided or abetted in a kidnappers activity. It is imperative that individuals who conspire to or actually abduct or aid in an abduction of a child are prosecuted.  The I CARE Foundation will be releasing a study that addresses this matter.
8. IPCA is a criminal act of kidnapping under the International Kidnapping Crimes Act. The act of kidnapping of any form is an inhumane act. Kidnappers who flee to another country must be extradited back to the country where the abduction took place. Thus, it is critical that new agreements are created between many countries that allow for extradition of parents who kidnap, which unfortunately does not exist today.  The I CARE Foundation will work to educate lawmakers and policy administrators about the importance of this issue.
9. Parents everywhere must be aware that IPCA is real, growing, and could potentially impact their lives, particularly in an ever-growing multi-cultural global society where individuals from different nations create relationships that result in the birth of a child, and, the prevalence of divorce in society. Critically, the I CARE Foundation will continue to act as stewards and share the message that IPCA is a real issue that all parents must be aware of.
10. Continued research in the area of IPCA must be conducted.  The I CARE Foundation will continue conducting and publishing an assortment of research in this area.
11. And whenever possible, the I CARE Foundation will attempt to help families in crisis.
12. We will continue to build our attorney network while also continuing our efforts to recruit qualified lawyers to participate in the U.S. Department of State's Hague Attorney Network.
13. We will continue our efforts to share our research on the world stage.
14. We will continue to build strategic NGO partnerships with organizations committed to protecting children and assisting families in crisis.

The I CARE Foundation has come a long way from the seedling of a book - Chasing The Cyclone.  There is a great deal of work to be done, and we are committed to continuing to play our part in assisting families in crisis.  Truth is, child abduction does impact too many lives. 

Our work continues.

And to those of you who have shown your spirited support, we thank you for your kind gestures and words.  They do matter and make a difference in all of our lives.

Kindest regards to all,

Peter Thomas Senese
Founding Director
The I CARE Foundation

Peter Thomas Senese Confirms Production of New Film On Child Abduction and Trafficking

I am very pleased to have announced this week on behalf of my colleagues and fellow child advocates of the I CARE Foundation the upcoming feature documentary filming of 150,000 Internationally Kidnapped Children.

 

The film will focus on the worldwide epidemic of international parental child abduction and the impact this criminal act of kidnapping has on targeted victims. 

 

There is no question we intend to create a very unique film, one that has not been created in this area because up until now, there has been no organization that has unilaterally conducted the extensive type of research on this subject the way the I CARE Foundation has, which will rudder and guide the scope and scale of the film. 

 

In addition to our unique ability to share a true picture of what the barren landscape of child abduction is, we have high expectations for the actual aesthetic production quality of the film as we will be shooting using RED Camera technology, and incorporating a host of special effects and other film making technology intended to give viscosity to the story we will tell.

 

On a personal level, I remain committed to doing all that I can to help society understand the malignant aspects of parental child abduction.  Till this day, one of the most alarming issues I see is just how wide-spread a lack of knowledge exists concerning international child kidnapping, even though each family is only three degrees of separation from knowing someone who has had a child targeted or stolen.  Tragically, by the I CARE Foundation's calculations, roughly 10% of all children internationally abducted only come home.

 

Glaringly - what we fight for - what we really fight for  . . . is to protect child murder and post-abduction suicide by adults who were once child victims.   I know: nobody wants to talk about it, especially since abduction in itself is a severe act of child abuse.  But truth is, filicide and post-abduction suicide are real. 

 

In the case of filicide, parental child murder occurs more often than anyone cares to think.  And I too shudder at such thoughts.  But we're talking about hundreds of child murders in the United States and Canada alone each year.  This is more than concerning.

 

And suicide. 

 

You see, children of abduction, during the 'taking period', which could last a lifetime, essentially have their identity brutally stripped from them.  Their lives of 'Who I Am' not only are denied, but altered into one big lie because of a sociopath abductor's need to rationalize their criminal act to the child, nearly always using parental alienation and isolation tactics into creating a demonizing myth about the targeted parent. In the end, the guilt, anger, and acknowledgement of a life of lies become overwhelming, and sadly, there is no place to go.  Suicide.

 

With hundreds of thousands of children around the world targeted for abduction each year, each nation needs new laws.  In order to have new laws created that will be impactful, correct data must be shared, thus the need for research on a host of critical topics.  The I CARE Foundation has and continues to lead in this area.  And of course, research and data alone do not protect children - but creating a swallow of public opinion that legislators hear, does.  And that is what 150,000 Internationally Kidnapped Children intends to do - increase awareness at every level, while offering solutions in the best interest of children.

 

I remain committed to helping rescue children who have been abducted, trafficked, abused, or in crisis.  This includes using my ongoing book royalties, including 100% of those generated from the critically acclaimed 'Chasing The Cyclone'  along with all of my other novels for use by the I CARE Foundation. It is my honor to be able to help others, as I take seriously my responsibility to help those in need.  With 100% of the necessary funding in place, it is my aspiration that 150,000 Internationally Kidnapped Children will become a tremendous tool that will save innocent lives.  After all, that is exactly what we're trying to do: save lives.

 

I invite you to read more information about 150,000 Internationally Kidnapped Children.

 

Kindest regards and best wishes for a healthy, happy, and fulfilling 2013 New Year.

 

Peter Thomas Senese

 

 

Steps To Take When Your Child Has Been A Victim Of International Parental Child Abduction

 

 What To Do If Your Child Has Been Internationally Abducted

 

Many of you who may be reading this either have a child who has been abducted or illegally detained in a foreign country, or have a friend or family member who have had a child abducted abroad. 

The I CARE Foundation has successfully assisted a large number of children legally reunite with their abducted child.  The outlined suggestions below are important steps parents who have had their child abducted should take.

 

If you are presently in a foreign country where your child is presently being detained and you have no access to your child because the abductor has cut off ties with you,  you must be very careful and remind yourself that you and your child were targets of a well-planned scheme.  You must seek immediate assistance from a local lawyer familiar with family law matters in that country, and, you must seek assistance available to you under the rules of law, including the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. 

 

For a list of countries who are signatory members of the Hague Convention, please click here.

 

Regardless if your child was illegally detained in a foreign country with or without you being in that country, there are critical steps that I suggest you must do, as outlined below.

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS NOT TO WASTE TIME.

 

THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS THAT ANY COMMUNICATIONS MADE BY THE ABDUCTOR MORE THAN LIKELY WILL BE USED TO EITHER HURT YOU OR TRY TO SHOW THAT YOU HAD OR HAVE CONSENTED TO THAT PERSON'S 'RELOCATION', AS THEY TRY TO SUGGEST YOU SANCTIONED THEIR NO-RETURN. THUS BE VERY CAREFUL!

 

When you believe that your child or children have been abducted by either their other parent or a non-stranger, you must remember that time is a precious commodity you do not have.

 

You must act efficiently, thoughtfully, and purposefully with respect to all efforts that you are about to put forth in recovering your child. Of utmost importance is the fact that you need to know everything that everyone involved in your child’s recovery is doing. Critically, you must stay calm, stay alert, immediately contact law enforcement, and immediately contact a lawyer familiar with family custody law.  The following actions are strongly advised:

 

1. Never give up HOPE that you will find your child or children no matter how long and difficult the road you have to journey on is.

 

2. URGENTLY, if you are a citizen of the The United States, immediately contact the United States Department of State – Office of Children’s Issues. They can be reached at 202-736-9090 or at 888.407.4747.  If you are presently in the foreign country that your child was illegally detained, then immediately contact the United States embassy in that country, and schedule an emergency appointment seeking their assistance.

 

If you are from Canada, contact the Justice Legal Services in Ottawa at 613.996.1300 or 613.992.6300.  If you are presently in the foreign country that your child was illegally detained, then immediately contact the Canadian embassy in that country, and schedule an emergency appointment seeking their assistance.

3. If your child's habitual residence was in the United States, immediately contact the National Center For Missing and Exploited Children (1-800-The-Lost). 

 

If your child's habitual residency is Canada, contact The Missing Children Society of Canada (800.661.6160).

 

4. IMMEDIATELY contact your local police and your local branch of the FBI (in Canada, the RCMP) and share with them all the details that support your belief that your child’s abduction is imminent or in progress.

 

Do not wait to file your police report!

 

Make sure you have as much evidence to support your claim as possible, including any witnesses that can support your claims. While sharing this information with the police, make sure that you file a missing child report immediately.

 

This report is important as it allows the police to place a description of the child who is missing on the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database, (and in Canada the Canadian Police Information Centre {CPIC} computer system) so all police forces in the United States (and likewise, in Canada) will know the child is missing.

 

The police should notify border crossing and all ferry, rail, airport facilities. If there is any hesitancy on their part to do so, under all circumstances demand that all border crossing locations and transportation companies (ferry services, airlines, etc.) are notified, and that all travel manifests are immediately reviewed. If you suspect parental or non-stranger abduction, provide the police with a photo of the suspected abductor, an address, telephone number and any other pertinent information about that person.

 

In addition, so long as you have a custody order decree from the courts, law enforcement can seek to press charges of aiding and abetting against any individual who may have assisted the abductor with their kidnapping scheme.  Recently, Senate Resolution 543 (SR543) that was unanimously passed in the Senate on December 14th, 2012 resolved that our nation and all applicable agencies involved in child abduction prevention and reunification do whatever they can to assist a targeted child.  This means that under the reach of criminal law, and if there is enough evidence to support a case of aiding and abetting, a criminal complaint must be filed with the authorities. 

 

5. In all scenarios, it is strongly advised that you hire a lawyer familiar with international child abduction.  It is critical that emergency legal applications are made to the court of jurisdiction that request for the court to issue to you the following:

 

A) Temporary Full Custody of your child or children.

 

B) A Return Order for your children demanding that the other parent return them to the court of jurisdiction by a specified date.

 

In addition, laws in many states give judges authority to issue a 'pickup' order for the child to prevent an imminent abduction or harm to the child. Pickup orders go by different names, including 'warrant to take physical custody of a child' and 'warrant in lieu of a writ of habeas corpus'.

 

6. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), in effect in most states, provides an emergency ex parte proceeding for getting a law enforcement directed pickup order (in conjunction with a custody enforcement order) when abductions or serious physical harm to a child is imminent. If the requirements are met, a judge should issue an order directing law enforcement to pick up the child and to serve notice of the custody enforcement proceedings.

 

7. If you believe your child's safety is in danger, and you have credible evidence that your partner is intending to imminently take your child and abduct to another country - file an emergency ex parte motion in court immediately, and make sure you or your lawyer notify your local law enforcement that you are filing an emergency motion before the court.

 

8. When possible, you and/or someone you trust should stay in close physical proximity of the child. Consider hiring a seasoned private investigator to monitor the movements of your spouse and child.

 

9. STAY CALM. Contact neighbors, friends, spouse, siblings and anyone who may know where your child may be. Invite a friend or acquaintance with a "calm" manner to be with you.

 

10. Conduct a telephone search. Call family, friends and relatives who may wish to help. Encourage them to use their telephones to make inquiry calls so your line will remain free for incoming calls. If you have to leave the house, have an answering machine on the line or have a friend or neighbor take incoming calls.

 

11. Have friends and relatives conduct a basic land search of the neighborhood area while you are making a police report. With family and friends, try to recall the present and past few days of family situations and activities (a recent argument or disciplinary action could be the reason for hiding).

 

12. Provide the police with the information in your prepared Identification Kit. This kit should include updates clear photographs, foot and fingerprints, birth certificate, medical history, passport, dental records, X-rays, child's name and description including location of scars, birthmarks and any other identifiable data (glasses, braces, earrings, etc.). A videotape or a recent home video of the child may be made specifically for the kit. Try to keep a mental note of what your child is wearing each day.

 

13. Conduct a complete physical search of your area. Organize a search party of friends and relatives to search areas such as, child's route home from school, community center, friend’s houses, favorite hang-out etc. Be on the lookout for articles of clothing, toys, books other personal belongings scattered on the ground. If found, do not disturb. Contact a police officer immediately.

 

14. Leave someone at home at all times to answer the telephone in case your child calls.

 

15. Continue to keep the telephone lines FREE at all times.

 

16. Continue your search even if there are no immediate results. Follow up for updates on the case by contacting the investigating police officer and the provincial searching agency who registered your child.

 

17. Solicit media support such as radio, television, local publications and newspapers only at the advice of the police and searching agency involved with the case. Be mindful that once your spouse has illegally taken your child and is on the run, they essentially will act like a fugitive (in many cases they are due to arrest warrants issued by the local court). Typically, a person running from law enforcement is willing to take risks that they might otherwise not be inclined to take under more normal circumstances. These risks can be very concerning, and could potentially place the child as well as the abducting parent in grave and dangerous situations. So, before you solicit help from the media, weigh out the opinions and advice of law enforcement, your lawyer, and your private investigators, if you have hired for these services.

 

18. Distribute a photograph of the missing child as well as your spouse or ex-spouse who has taken your child.

 

19. Keep a detailed diary of people and agencies you have contacted and steps you have already taken. Logging the events limits the duplication of efforts and allows a review of inquiries.

 

20. As I said earlier, hire a local lawyer familiar with local and international child custody law and have your attorney appear before your local court immediately. Share with the court the details of your child’s abduction and all other relevant information to allow the judge to understand the seriousness of the matter. It is critical that you are honest, open, and credible before the court. In simple terms: do not lie, do not fabricate anything, and do not give the court any reason to question your credibility. Tell the good, the bad, and the ugly. Request that the court grant you sole full custody and sole full guardianship of your child or children if you do not already have it. Also request that the court direct your spouse to immediately return with the child to the place of original jurisdiction (if he or she has a lawyer in the jurisdiction, you should be able to serve that person [have your lawyer check on matters of service]. Request that the court issue a ‘pick-up’ order directing police officers to assist you in finding and returning your child to you.

 

21. If you know your child has been taken to another country, contact the United Stated Department of State – Office Of Children’s Issues and immediately file a Hague Application for the wrongful international abduction and retention of your child.

 

22. Make sure you monitor all bank accounts and remove all assets that are in joint-tenancy into your sole name.

 

23. If you are the primary holder on any assets and credit cards, immediately remove your spouse’s name on every account.

 

24. Immediately contact your credit card companies and put a security alert on all of your credit cards. This will direct the credit card company to request that you show proper identification to the merchant during each time you use a credit card, or, in the event of electronic on line transactions, a representative from the credit card company’s security department will be required to contact you in order to authorize the transaction. Also, make sure you put two password questions and answers (not one – but two), on your bank and credit card accounts in order to prevent having anyone else other than you access your money.

 

25. Contact all credit reporting agencies and request that you are immediately notified of any credit inquiries, remarks, or additional accounts. Make sure that each agency issues a security alert, directing each requesting credit company to seek additional verifying information that any inquiries or applications made to their company were made by you.

26. Monitor all cell phones of your spouse, and, if possible, have all cell phones, emails, and any other communication devices monitored.

 

27. Check with your spouse’s friends, family, and acquaintances and see if they were aware of any information that might lead you to locate your child. Typically, a person who is standoffish, might have known of the abductor’s plans, or, has already been influenced by that person, and will be of little help to you. If that occurs, immediately report this to law enforcement investigating the abduction. If the police chose to interview that person, and they lie to law enforcement, they can be criminally charged with a crime.

 

28. Check in your child or children’s rooms for any hints or clues as to where they might have been taken.

 

29. Check your ex-spouse or spouse’s personal items for any clues as to where they might have taken your child.

 

30. If your ex-spouse or spouse has family that live in a foreign country, hire the services of a private investigator in that country to immediately follow your ex-spouse or spouse’s parents and other family members in order to determine where the child has been taken and is located. This very well may be the best set of dollars you will spend. Remember, any recovery actions cannot be taken until your child’s location is known. In many international parental child abduction cases, the abducting parent chooses to go underground with the child, and develops behavior similar to a fugitive on the run (they are fugitives). Typically, they have a support network in place, and the abduction has been carefully planned and enabled through the assistance of family members and friends. Finding and knowing where your child was taken to is the most important action once you know the child has been removed from the country of habitual residency. Without knowing what country your child is in – you cannot file a Hague Application … and you will be spinning your wheels endlessly trying to find out where your child is. One final note on this subject: according to the provisions in The Hague, there exists language that essentially enables a Hague judge overseeing the case to allow for a child to stay with the abducting parent if the abducting parent is able to prove to the court that returning the child to the country of origin would be detrimental to the child’s best interest. One of the techniques commonly used in a Hague defense is to demonstrate that the child or children have adjusted and desires to live in the country they were wrongfully and illegally taken to. In certain situations, a judge may believe that the child or children have settled into their ‘new life’, and that uprooting them would be harmful, and not in the child’s best interest. So – it is critically important for a Chasing Parent to know where the child was taken to as soon as possible and immediately file for the child’s return under the protocols of The Hague Convention.

 

31. If your child is taken to another country, consult heavily with a lawyer in your local jurisdiction familiar with The Hague Convention, and, make sure you hire a lawyer familiar with The rules of The Hague Convention in the jurisdiction you know your child was taken to.

 

32. Become familiar with the laws and customs of the country that your child has been taken to.

 

33. Consult with The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children, the governing agency who acts as The Hague Signatory for your country (in The United States, the U.S. State Department acts as the official Hague representative for The United States Government) and the International Child Abduction Research and Enlightenment Foundation (the I CARE Foundation).

 

34. Try to keep yourself physically active, eat a healthy diet, and rest on a regular basis.

 

35. Never give up Hope that you will be reunited with your child.

 

36. Remember, you must know everything that everyone involved with your child’s recovery is doing. Do not be concerned about any or your actions other than one: finding your child. In essence – do whatever you have to do in order to protect your child – but remember, your actions must not place your child in any harm’s way. That is why it is important for you to consult with the experts – but remember – you must know everything – including as much as possible on family law, and the rules of The Hague Convention.

 

37. Allow and trust in The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. The Hague Courts do work!

 

38. If your child or children have been issued a passport and you have access to it, make sure you hold it and secure it in a safe place. If your child has not been issued a passport, then immediately contact the agency overseeing passport issuances, and appraise them of the present situation. Typically, law enforcement or an officer from the State Department’s Office of Children’s Issues overseeing your Hague Application will do this as well.

 

39. In the event that your child does not have a passport from the country they habitually lived in, and no passport has been requested or issued by your local government, then make sure that law enforcement contact the local embassy of the country your spouse was originally from, and inform them of the litigation taking place.

 

40. One of the most important things you can do in the early stages of an international child abduction is to establish friendly contact with the relatives and friends of the other parent, both in your country and abroad. The fastest and most effective way to resolve international child abductions is for the abducting parent to return the child voluntarily. While there may be good reasons for you to believe that this approach won’t work, it is important that the effort be made.

 

41. Make sure you have a cell phone with you at all times, that it is fully charged, that you keep a charged back-up battery, and a back-up phone charger.

 

42. If you are traveling abroad to search for your child, make sure you send yourself back-up ‘emergency’ money via Western Union (Western Union is reliable, serves most locations around the world, and funds can be accessed immediately).

43. The 'Prevent Departure Program' is a very affective tool to prevent alien residents physically in the United States from leaving the country either with or without a child. The program is administered by the Department of Homeland Security and was initially created to aide in our the country's national security interests post 911. Essentially and under the purposes of child abduction, an individual would not be able to depart from the United States. For more information on this program, please visit information on this website listed under 'Prevent Departure Program' or click on the following link:

44. Trust yourself.

45. Contact the I CARE Foundation.

 

46. For more information please visit the Department of State's Office Of Children's Issues at http://travel.state.gov/abduction/emergencies/emergencies_3845.html

 

47. Remember, the abductor has been well advised and aided about how to get away with their abduction.  They will try to do whatever they can to have it appear that either you are a horrible, dangerous person, and/or that you consented to their travel abroad with intent to relocate. Thus, be very careful of what the abductor communicates with you, and be very leary that any suggestion to have a family member of the abductor mediate an agreement between the two of you in genuine: there is a very good chance it is not.

 

48.  In the United States, it is illegal to operate or hire a recovery agents who essentially reabduct a child taken in another country.  It is strongly advised that you follow the rules of law and remember that recovery agents are very costly, you as a client have limited way of validating their activity or expense, and that generally, snatching a child places the child in harms way.  Follow the rules of law and trust the courts.

 

49. Critically, you must be aware that if you are in a foreign country where your child was taken, the other side will do essentially whatever is possible in order for them to remain there, including making false child abuse or police reports against you.  One of the most common techniques used for both men and women abductors is for the abductor to make a police report that you threatened their life and that they are concerned about their and the child's safety.  This enables them to get a restraining order against you while also laying out ground for an Article 13 Defense of the Hague Convention. 

 

50. It is beyond important that you remember that the abductor committed the crime of kidnapping.  Surely, the abductor was aware of their action and legal issues.  And it did not matter.  They still carried out there plan.  And if you are on foreign soil, you should be very cautious that the abductor has been well advised, and knows that it is critical for their abduction defense to make the child abuse or criminal complaint against you.  Sadly, many abductors act as predators by luring the partner to the foreign country during Christmas so that they could make criminal complaints against that person while they are there. Be very careful - and seek assistance from your country's embassy.

 

51. Mobilize your assets.

 

 

 

IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT INTERNATIONAL PARENTAL CHILD ABDUCTION:

 

When it comes to International Parental Child Abduction, there are a few things that are important to realize.

1. From 2012 -2022, it is anticipated that there could be as many as 100,000 to 125,000 international parental child abductions originating from the United States, and as many as 17,500 cases originating from Canada.

2. Unreported cases of abduction are anticiapted to at least equal the number of reported cases of abduction, and it is beleived that this number could be as high as 150% of reported cases. As an example, in 2010, there ere 1,634 reported cases of IPCA in the United States. Thus, it could be expected that the number of unreported cases of abduction ranged from 1, 634 to 2,451, and that the total number of cases of international parental child abduciton was anywhere from 3,264 - 4,085 cases.

3. Growth of IPCA cases is at least 20% per year.

4. It is forcast that only roughly 10% of all children (reported and unreported) illegally kidnapped come home.

5. International Parentla Child Abduction is a federal crime.

6. Loopholes in the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative may have a serious negative impact on IPCA and human trafficking in the United States.

7. The Prevent Departure Program needs to be modified to allow the screening of high-risk child abductors who possess rights of United States citizenship.

China Cracks Down On Police Involved in Child Trafficking: 54,000 Kids Reunited Over Past 3 Years

On December 24th, 2012, the day the West celebrates Christmas Eve, Chinese authorities finally bended to the outcry of child advocacy demands to significantly step up their policing and prevention of human trafficking of children in their country by arresting 355 individuals suspect of child trafficking.  Most importantly, 89 previously abducted children were rescued!  It is expected that many of the kidnapped children will reunite with their chasing parents since, under great pressure from the United Nations and its trading partners, China developed a DNA database for missing children suspect of being trafficked in partial reaction to the outlandish number of children abducted, traded, and trafficked in the country.

Human trafficking is a serious problem in China that can be traced back to China's one-child policy.
The policy has resulted in abortions, killings or abandonment of baby girls, and created a demand for abducted or purchased baby boys. 

It has been recently reported that the Chinese government, due to scrutiny from the West, and the rising voices of the country's citizens, has taken steps to combat the black market by tightening adoption rules and cracking down on child trafficking rings.

The 355 suspects arrested in the operation included many police officers from nine regions, including the provinces of Fujian, Yunnan, Sichuan, Anhui and Guangdong, Xinhua reported, citing the Ministry of Public Security.

I did say 'Police Officers'.


Sadly, I have personally witnessed Chinese authorities actually take down posters of missing children in SAR's such as Macau and Hong Kong, as well as cities including Shenzhen and Shanghai.  I have befriended chasing parents searching for their stolen children in cities that attempt to lure tourist, only to have these desperate parents disappear without a trace: where there was once a cell phone number, a home address, an email address - all whereabouts of their existence is gone because, in the past, China did not tolerate the public display of parents desperately searching for their kidnapped children.  Where did they go and who removed them?  The police.

However, the problem has grown so serious, and the number of children being taken has risen significantly that the internal pressure of government accountability combined with pressure from the west has apparently begun to make a difference. God I hope so.

Many of the children abducted in China come from rural areas.  They are then trafficked and sold in more affluent areas such as Fujian and Guangdongfor as much as 90,000 yuan ($14,400 U.S.) for a healthy male.  In China's seedy black market sex trade, a Caucasian male child could sell for over 1,000,000 yuan.

Is China actually taking a major step in the right direction to combat the disgusting, prevalent, and notorious trade of child kidnapping and child slavery that has been part of it's culture for so long, or is this just showmanship?

I think the answer will be found on whether China demonstrates an openness to the criminal prosecution of the monsters who have traded in child flesh, and, to learn if Chinese authorities capably expanded their investigation and arrested others responsible for the unforgivable acts of child kidnappings.

Chen Shiqu, the ministry's criminal investigation division anti- trafficking office director said this past Monday that, "Since a government crackdown began in 2009, police have broken up 11,000 child trafficking rings and rescued 54,000 children." 

Think about having 54,000 abducted in your country - a nation where the police either took part in the abductions or turned their eyes away from the criminal act.  Unthinkable.

Despite the 54,000 children who have been rescued, the number of missing children in China remains extraordinarily large: estimates are in the high hundreds of thousands.

It's a start . . . but still the problem remains a large problem . . . one that India must now address.

Child abduction of any kind is an inhumane act conducted by a person who generally has no true respect for the dignity of life.  Please support any organization dedicated to protecting children.

- Peter Thomas Senese -
  Founding Director
  The I CARE Foundation

* * *
Peter Thomas Senese's critically acclaimed international legal thriller novel about child abduction titled 'Chasing The Cyclone' is available on e-book.  100% of all proceeds are donated to the I CARE Foundation.